Farts don't smell

  A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this
Problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

 The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."

 The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
 

Grandma

A grandmother goes to the toy store and wants to buy her grandson a ball.  She finds the aisle with the balls and starts bouncing each one to see which one will bounce the highest,  With that, one bounces up her dress.  The security guard, thinking she is trying to steal the ball takes her over to the security room and tells her to give him the ball.  When
she bends over to get the ball that is stuck between her legs, she farts, and the security guard says to her "And give me the horn too!!!!......."