Blonde Jokes....No Offense meant to anyone!
The Job Interview
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?'
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!'
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?'
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, 'Five foot two!'
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?'
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, 'Mandy!'
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?'
'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....''
The Firehouse
The blond was cooking her first meal in her new home. Some grease spilled and fire started spreading up the cabinets. She dialed the fire dept., and screamed “My house is on fire, come quick”
“OK, lady, we’re on our way….how do we get there?” replied the fireman…….
“A FIRE TRUCK…..(Duhhhhhhhh)….!”Q & A
Q. What do you call 2 blondes in a refrigerator?
A. Frosted Flakes
Q. Did you hear about the four dead blondes they found in a car at the drive-in theater?
A. They went to see “Closed For The Winter”………..
Counting Sheep
A blonde went to the hairdresser and had her hair dyed red. On the way home, she wanted to try out her new identity. She stopped at a large sheep farm, and started talking to the farmer. “I sure would like to have one of your sheep” she said, “If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, could I have one?”
Well, the farmer had quite a large flock, so he said “Sure….go ahead”
“Hmmmmmm….” She thought, “392 sheep!”
“Well, ‘mam, that’s exactly right….take your pick….”
After she got the sheep in the car, and was ready to head off, the farmer called to her “Wait, I’ve got one for you”…
“OK”, she said.
“Lady…..if I can guess the original color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”
Neat Gadgets, Those Thermos's
The blonde was shopping at the department store, and she came across the Thermos display.
“What are these?” she asked the sales girl.
“For your lunch & stuff. It will keep hot things hot, and cold things cold”
“ I’ll take one” she replied.
The next day at work, she showed it off to her girlfriend……”It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold, she exclaimed.”
“What do you have in it now?” asked her friend.
“2 cups of coffee and a popsicle!”Horesback Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even
though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a
steady and rhythmic pace, but the blond begins to slip from
the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's
mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to
throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides
down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops
along, seemingly unaware of its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps
away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in
the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's
pounding hooves as her head is struck against
the ground over and over again. As her head is
battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when to her great fortune, the
Wal-Mart store manager sees her and shuts the
horse off.The Job Interview